Friend of the blog and Zoner One of the Heroes tipped me off to an excellent entry in Wikiality that talks about Stephen’s birthday:

May 13, 1964: Great day? Or The Greatest Day Ever? It needs must follow that it is the latter, seeing as how this was the day that the great Stephen Colbert issued forth from his mother’s blessed womb. He is the only person in the 6000 year history of America’s Planet to have been born on this day.

Following Stephen’s arrival into this world, people came from all over, bearing gifts of diamonds, gold, and silver, along with unpronounceable, unspellable spices and scented oils. Many came from miles away, from places such as Iraq, Finland, and California just to see him.

Stephen Colbert’s Birthday is now a national holiday in seventeen countries. Diplomatic and surge-ical inquiries have been made into why the other 326 countries haven’t gotten their sh*t together.

Feel free to put your well-wishes for Stephen on his birthday in the comments.

Wait, FX isn’t showing the American version of The Colbert Report? I know we’re living in a “Colbert Universe” now, but I guess I forgot that there would be different intros filmed for The Colbert Report: Global Edition (unless this is for something other than the UK broadcast).

Anyhow, thanks to chicalolita for uploading this. All I can say is: GLOBALLS.

From The Guardian (UK):

Cable girl
Lucy Mangan
The Guardian, Tuesday May 13 2008

For those who fear that the world’s foaming madness will overwhelm the flimsy barriers of satire erected in less troubled times, salvation is at hand.

The Colbert Report has arrived on FX.

. . .

The Colbert Report is possibly even funnier (it gets to use, in complicated, postmodern, multiply overlaid fashion, rightwing as well as leftwing jokes) and even cleverer (given its inbuilt conceit) than The Daily Show.

Of course, the sense of succour it imparts is bittersweet to any Brit who ever watched Parky’s descent into mindless sycophancy, or who saw last week’s Friday Night With Jonathan Ross in which the host offered to sleep with his guest Gwyneth Paltrow. Now we have not merely to marvel at our inability to make an even passable straight chatshow but cower in shame at how
very far we are from being able to play with the form, let alone with the biting brilliance of Colbert.

Read the full review here

I don’t get the references to “Parky” or Jonathan Ross, but that’s okay. The bottom line is clear: our English-speaking friends from across the pond have seen the wonder that is The Colbert Report, and they acknowledge its greatness.

In case you are darn lucky enough to be in New York City this Wednesday, May 14, I would like to recommend to you to be at Rififi (332 East 11th St.) at approximately 8p. Eric “Dead Tasty Bobby” Drysdale will be co-hosting the Gelmania show with Brett Gelman, and the guests for the evening will include Dan Mintz, Demetri Martin and Hannibal Burress.

Be there!

Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of ‘Colbert Report’ guests, created in the spirit of the oft-enjoyed Fantasy Colbert League. While we can’t start up the online version of the game again, we can make it so that you can get the information you need about the guests before they come on the show.

Just like you, we want to be it-getters before the interviews start. So we’ve compiled brief bios, issues or events that Stephen might bring up during the interview, and a fun Fract (Freedom Fact) to impress your fellow viewers during the commercial breaks. Read, enjoy, and see if you can anticipate how Stephen might nail each of the following guests!

Editor’s Note: As always, these guests are subject to change.

Monday, 5/12: Dr. Mehmet C. Oz

Dr. Mehmet Oz is a cardiothoracic surgeon who writes books on how to stay healthy. He has co-authored a number of books with Dr. Michael Roizen, the latest of which is titled ‘YOU: Staying Young: The Owner’s Manual for Extending Your Warranty.’ A professor of cardiac surgery at Columbia University, he also serves on the advisory board of the OneVoice Movement, a non-profit organization aiming to empower moderate Israelis and Palestinians to take more action in coming to a two-state resolution without violence. He is also a director of Siga Technologies, a a biotechnology company that specializes in countermeasures against biological warfare and other serious infectious diseases.

• Fract: Dr. Oz suggests taking aspirin to protect your arteries and lower your risk of major cancers - but has not yet made a statement on Vaxadrine (or Vaxadrone, or Vaxadrin…) Stay tuned to see whether Stephen offers him a dose!

Tuesday, 5/13: Jennifer Hooper McCarty

Dr. Jennifer Hooper McCarty’s website is named ‘CSI: Titanic,’ and her new book is called ‘What Really Sank the Titanic: New Forensic Discoveries.’ Zoners, I’ll tell you right now that I’m going to be geeking out all over this interview. It’s forensic science at the bottom of the ocean! Dr. McCarty is a historical materials scientist who studied cleaning and conservation techniques used on artifacts from the Bronze Age in Greece before picking up where the 1998 expedition to the Titanic ended. She is comparing samples from the wreckage to materials used in ships and other structures today, to figure out just why this great ocean liner sank so fast after hitting an iceberg in April 1912.

• Fract: Spoiler Alert: it was the rivets, in the hull, with the slag.

Wednesday, 5/14: Laura Dern, Grover Norquist

You may remember actress Laura Dern as the scrappy botannical scientist Dr. Ellie Sattler in the 1993 movie ‘Jurassic Park.’ Well, she’s moved on to different dinosaurs now - namely, the relics of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. Dern plays then-Secretary of State Katherine Harris in ‘Recount,’ a tale of the state of Florida and its vote recounting that took up the weeks before George W. Bush was ultimately declared president.

Author Grover Norquist is president of the lobbying group Americans for Tax Reform. He founded this group in 1985 at the request of then-president Ronald Reagan and has been working against taxes ever since. He has been an outspoken, influential figure in Washingon politics, drumming up support during the 2000 election for George W. Bush and creating the ‘Leave Us Alone Coalition. His latest work is titled ‘Leave Us Alone: Getting the Government’s Hands Off Our Money, Our Guns, Our Lives.’

• Fract: In 2006, the Americans for Tax Reform group was found to have connections to infamous lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

Thursday, 5/15: Andrei Cherny

Andrei Cherny is a former senior speechwriter for Vice President Al Gore. In 2000, he became the lead negotiator and chief drafter of the Democratic party platform. He served as a senior aide in Senator John Kerry’s 2004 presidential campaign, and is an officer with the United States Navy Reserve. He wrote ‘The Next Deal: The Future of Public Life in the Information Age‘ in 2001 and has contributed to a number of media publications. His latest book is titled ‘The Candy Bombers: The Untold Story of the Berlin Airlift and America’s Finest Hour,’ about American and British pilots who airlifted billions of pounds of food and supplies into West Berlin while the Russians blockaded the city in 1948 and 1949.

• Fract: On his Amazon blog, Mr. Cherny has asked for advice on what to do during his upcoming Colbert Report interview.

Steve Carell looks to be back in “publicity” mode in advance of this summer’s release of the Get Smart remake, which should make for some fun “Six Degrees” material for us all. This month, he’s the featured interviewee in Playboy magazine (yes, that one). There are some excerpts from his interview, including references to Stephen, on this blog post; here are a few of my favorite snippets:

Steve Carell does Playboy-June 2008
May 12, 2008

On his dad having a hard time watching The Office:

“At first it was probably a little difficult for him to watch his son make such a complete a** out of himself week in and week out. But now he has come to accept that I am, in fact, an a**. He has come to terms with that, and now he fully accepts me and my a**iness.”

. . .

On Steve Colbert:

“Actually, The Daily Show gained credibility because I left. The only bright side of leaving was I hated everyone involved with the show — Colbert, in particular. He seems to be very intelligent on TV, but trust me, it’s all smoke and mirrors. Everything is written for him. His scripts need to be spelled out phonetically. I just got tired of carrying him. He has no idea what he’s talking about. He can hardly spell his own name.”

On if Colbert would like that description of him:

“Maaaaaaybe. [laughs] Yes, Stephen and I are old friends. He is a lovely human being. I also enjoy his Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor.”

. . .

On saying something cruel:

“Hmmm. Let’s see. One horribly negative awful thing? [long pause] I’m trying to come up with something. It’s tough. [another long pause] Does it have to be a person, or can it be an animal or object? I don’t know. I’m thinking, I’m thinking. [another long pause] Okay, I’ll go so far as to say this: Sometimes in the summer mosquitoes can get sort of annoying.”

Read more from the interview here
There are additional pics here and here

I somehow don’t see myself purchasing a copy of this magazine, but if anyone *does* happen to get any more info, feel free to pass it along to us.

Thanks to Sharon D. for her constant vigilance!

If you haven’t had a chance to preorder the new book by Daily Show writer Rob Kutner, Apocalypse How: Turn the End-Times into the Best of Times!- the new book by ‘Daily Show’ writer Rob Kutner, you now have an Option B - going to a Brick and Mortar Barnes and Noble or Borders near you and picking one up. Live! In person! With no keyboard involved! What a friggin’ concept.

Just remember, Stephen Colbert says, “If you buy only one book to accompany you through horrific worldwide catastrophe, make it this one.”

And if you really want to get the full Kutner experience (and I would recommend it highly), try checking out one of these book signings:

• PASADENA, CA – May 12th - Vroman’s Bookstore – 7pm
• WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – May 13th - Book Soup – 7pm
• BROOKLYN, NY – May 21st - Word – 7pm
• MANHATTAN, NY – May 24th - Bluestockings – 7pm

Happy Mother’s Day, Nation! Lorna Colbert’s youngest son has had a big week - facing off with Rain on the Dance Dance Revolution, facing off with Arianna Huffington across the interview table, and talking to a real live NASA astronaut who also happens to be a member of Colbert Universe. In space! I still can’t get over how cool that interview was, and I’m willing to bet that Stephen hasn’t either. Next stop, Mars!

Episode Guides:

Fantasy Colbert League Weekly for May 5 - 8, 2008

• Episode 4060 (May 5, 2008) - Author Carl Hiassen, Pop superstar Rain
• Spoiler alert! Photos from Rain’s visit to the set.
• Spoiler alert! Monday’s Comedy Central promos feature Rain.
• Urgent Fangirl Bulletin: They’re dancing in Koreeeeeeaaaan!
• Relive the dancing (and the red pants) with screencaps and videos.
• Rain’s visit gets a pretty good amount of online press the next day.
• Episode 4061 (May 6, 2008) - Opera singer Nathan Gunn
• Episode 4062 (May 7, 2008) - Professor and artist Hasan Elahi, Author George Johnson
• Jeez, just how many Colbert Report staffers have met their grisly ends on this show?
• Episode 4063 (May 8, 2008) - Astronaut Garrett Reisman, Author and politico Arianna Huffington
• Guest alert for Garrett Reisman from Florida Today!
• NASA TV broadcasts Stephen’s interview with Garrett Reisman - from SPACE!
• The Houston Chronicle spreads the word of Stephen and Garrett’s interview.

Drop in and speak your mind in our new feature: the Friday Free-for all!

The Colbert Report Episode News:

• The Colbert Report debuts in the United Kingdom!
• Spoiler alert: will former Fort Wayne Mayor Paul Helmk be visiting the Report next week?

Mainstream Media:

• Frank Rich of The New York Times unwittingly re-hashes the Report’s take on the John McCain-George Stephanopolous interview.
• Stephen’s ‘Colbert Plate’ goes on sale on Ebay to benefit the Parkinson Society Maritime Region. Bidding ended on May 7!
• The Foreign Policy Passport tries to get Stephen’s attention by not nominating him to its ‘100 Top Public Intellectuals’ list.
• The 2008 Webby Awards name Stephen Colbert their ‘Person of the Year.’ Congratulations!
• New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd tells the Harvard Political Review that she finds The Colbert Report informative as well as funny.
• The Project for Excellence in Journalism is analyzing The Daily Show’s content to see that yes, it is more than mere comedy.
• Jon Stewart hosts MTV’s ‘Upfront,’ helped out by Stephen Colbert, on Thursday night. The Hollywood Reporter has more.

“It’s Mother’s Day! Call your Mom.”

• The State.com previews South Carolina’s ETV Mother’s Day special, featuring Lorna Colbert.
• ‘Entertainment Tonight’ previews a bit of Stephen’s Mother’s Day wishes to his mom on Wednesday.
• ETV finally airs its special Mother’s Day edition of The Big Picture, available on its website.

We Call It The Joy Machine:

• Yeah, you can’t go wrong with a little eye candy.
• Check out these hysterical blast-from-the-past clips: Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, and Jon Stewart discuss The Daily Show and their favorite skits.
• Craig Newmark sneaks a photo of the Report’s backstage decor. Cool!
• Klassic Kolbert: ABC Family re-airs an old episode of ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway’ starring one Stephen Colbert.
• Klassic Kolbert: Stephen and the Colberts. It’s the Charlene video. If you haven’t seen it, or if god forbid you don’t know who Charlene is, click on this link right now.

Six Degrees of Stephen Colbert:

• Check out a promotional video for Rob Kutner’s new book ‘Apocalypse How’, narrated by Daily Show correspondent Rob Riggle.
• Steve Carell is featured on the cover of ‘Wired’ magazine to talk about his new movie ‘Get Smart’ - and tell us how to appear brilliant even if we’re not.
• Amy Sedaris talks to the Onion A.V. Club and teases readers with a hypothetical ‘Strangers With Candy’ Christmas movie. I said hypothetical!

Check out what’s new at Colbert University!

The Envelope (LA Times entertainment blog) is reporting that the Emmy Consideration package from Comedy Central this year contains videos for The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil, The Sarah Silverman Program, Mind of Mencia, Reno 911! and the channel’s recent concert special underscoring autism education, Night of Too Many Stars.

You know what that means, kids. First of all, I have this deep fear that Ringo Starr: Off The Record will have all the Colbert fans sweating throughout the Emmy nominating process. Secondly, everyone needs to start watching eBay because I can guarantee these DVD editions are going to start showing up there soon. Happy Hunting!

EDIT

Some of our crack Zoner researchers have figured out the two issues on this year’s DVD:

• Episode 3079 (6/13/2007) (Watch the videos here)
• Episode 3138 (11/1/2007) ((Watch the videos here)

Psst … come here … I got something for ya. It’s the good stuff, the REALLY good stuff. But it’s totally on the black market, so we’re going to have to keep it on the down low. Just past the curtain, you can’t miss it.

P.S.

If you like this post, I do have a Twitter feed that features all the updates from this blog as well as the Colbert University update blog.

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